How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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