I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
