And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
