We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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