Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
