I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i would punch a child for taco bell
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
