he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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