I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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