My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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