So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Sorry my hands just texted you
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
