Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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