You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize