I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
