dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
