I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
