she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
