I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
