i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
