you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
