Midget sex pt 2 tonight
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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