so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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