Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
