Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
