OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I queefed so loud it echoed.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
