Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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