is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
