God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
