I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
