i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
