Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
