She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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