Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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