The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize