My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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