and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
