She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
