1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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