there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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