all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
