why didn't you poke me back
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
