is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
