On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
