just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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