Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
