you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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