last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
