that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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