I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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