Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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