You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
