She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
