My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You pole danced in your parka.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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