my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
