Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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