It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
try to milk me bitch
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