Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
