JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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