I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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