There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
